Before we dive into a review for this weekend’s “The Magnificent Seven,” let me just note that as a moviegoer, you can pretty much ignore everything critics are yammering on about when it comes to this film.
Yes, the contemporary dialogue is distracting and yes it’s unfortunate James Horner’s name is attached to a lazy, stock-music score, but details like these will have no impact on your overall viewing experience. In fact, the only question you should ask yourself before purchasing tickets for a Sunday matinee is, “Am I in the mood for a wild west stunt show?”
That’s really all this latest take on “Seven Samurai” boils down to, and if you’re up for one-liners, pyrotechnics and six shooters then you’re going to have a good time. If, on the other hand, you’re hoping to see something on par with the Coen’s “True Grit,” or even James Mangold’s “3:10 to Yuma” well, this just isn’t that kind of western.
Look — as a critic, this is the part where I’m supposed to discuss the cast, story, directing, closing credits font, and god knows what else; but if you’ve read the previous three paragraphs you know such details would all be fluff. Not only fluff, misleading fluff.
This is the kind of movie that has characters in one scene confused by the definition of the word “syllable” and in the next scene pontificating about statistical analysis. No, not because the writing is lazy but because the writing is a footnote.
Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt aren’t trying to be better than Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and director Antoine Fuqua definitely isn’t trying to replace “Seven Samurai.” Fuqua just wanted to shoot a Hollywood budget gun show and he accomplished that. There’s not much more to say on it. I’ve only continued to write here because I feel like every movie deserves at least 300 words. But really, critics are useless on this one. Myself included.
If you’re still reading, thanks. I guess that’s flattering. I’ll sum everything I’ve written up with this quick conclusion. If you’re the kind of person who can’t help but smile when at some Saturday city festival, guys in cowboy garb walk out into the crowd and shoot cap guns at each other, “The Magnificent Seven” is worth your hard earned cash this weekend. If you’re not, the small screen will just be fine so let Netflix catch you up in a few months.